What Dogs Would Say If They Could Call In Their Own 911 Emergencies

1. “MY HUMAN DOESN’T POOP but he collects my poop in a bag! Help him please! I can’t poop enough for us both! I am worried”

-KlaymondreMcCurrant

2. Dog: hello – I’d like to report missing humans.

Doggy 911: how long have they been missing?

Dog: somewhere between 5 minutes and 2 years, I don’t really know, I have no sense of time.

Doggy 911: ok sir, what you’ll need to do is run around and panic and bark, then continually scratch at the door until you’ve created a hole for you to escape your inevitable death and find your humans.

Dog: got it thanks!

-ledbetter7754

3. “Help! There’s someone in the house and they keep doing the exact same things I’m doing, but reversed! They also look just like me!”

-TheBreastIncarnate

4. “SOMEBODY PARKED MY NEIGHBOR’S CAR AT MY NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE!!!!!!!! AND NOW THEY’RE GOING INTO MY NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE!!!!!!”

-TooGoodForSauce

5. 911: “What’s your emergency?”

dog emergencies

Dog: “I’ve been abandoned. I can’t leave the building to get help.”

911: ” Okay, just relax. How long have you been left alone?”

Dog: “Since the dawn of time.”

911: “Do you have enough food and water to survive until the dog-police arrive?”

Dog: “My food dish is full and the drinking fountain is working perfectly.”

911: “So no food or water at all?”

Dog: “Literally nothing.”

-FlexGunship